Like I said, I'm not that original.

Dear Baby,

I admit it. I'm a bit baby-crazy right now. It's a little bit like being 12 or 13 years old and being boy-crazy. A fun time for all of us to look forward to, whether you are on the giving or receiving end of that particular phenomenon. Really, though, since your Dad and I decided we were ready (or, rather, "ready") to embark on this next phase of our lives, I've been researching all kinds of baby-related things. Your Dad does not know this. It would probably scare him. Every once in a while I let it slip that I've been reading fertility and conception articles, or will share a particularly funny post from a baby blog, but mostly I've kept the crazy in. Mostly. Know this, though: I take a folic acid supplement every single night before bed and your Dad never keeps his laptop on his lap any more. 'Nuff said.

I have all sorts of plans for you. Many of them come from this website, fittingly also titled Dear Baby. This woman makes me laugh, kid, and she has great taste. I aspire to have this kind of taste, but I fall short of the mark. Many women have a "look", or a particular style. I am one of the unfortunate few who has nothing of the sort. And all of the things I love, sadly, don't seem to come in my size. Or I'm not looking in the right place.

I've also fallen in love with chalkboard paint. I'm planning to try some out in the house soon, but fear not, it will likely make an appearance in your room one day. And this carpet from Anthropolgie. I. Love. It. But it raises some ethical questions for me about being a vegan mom. Because it's wool.

I mean, strictly speaking, shepherds don't kill their flocks for wool - it just doesn't make sound financial sense - but animal treatment is just as important, if not more so, than whether the animal lives or dies. It's a question I've also pondered given my growing interest in cloth diapering and the abundance of wool as the preferred fabric for soakers (diaper covers). There are plenty of times when I've thought that I should use wool because it's a great material, but ultimately, my desire for something is less important than the impact it has on the source animal or the environment at large. I have bought wool yarn from a sheep rescue farm. But I know for a fact that those sheep are pampered and not bred for lambs or anything like that. How do I source a wool rug or wool soakers like that? I'm starting to think this whole living-by-your-conscience thing is going to be a tough gig, especially when you throw parenting into the mix. I certainly hope you appreciate this later in life.

Your Dad and I watched "No Impact Man" last night and while some of it seemed pretty contrived and the main guy seemed, at least in the context of his goals and career versus his family and his wife's goals, to be kind of a prick, he said something which really resonated with me. I'm paraphrasing, but he essentially said that we, as a species, are becoming more and more disconnected from one another. And as a result, there is no sense of "community" any more. Since there is no sense of community, we feel that we are not responsible to anyone else but ourselves, and this is a huge mistake. So, while your Dad and I still tend to be a social island, we are trying to maintain responsibility to our fellow man. It's really tough, kid, because I. Love. That. Rug.

I love you forever,
Mama